he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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