All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
