it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
