I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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