We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
