is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
