i was born a porn star she said
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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