WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
