i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
