U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The air taste purple.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
