She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
