Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
