Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
