The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
