why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
