I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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