i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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