My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
