More tranny stories later!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
