Nicole vs. Life
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Houston, we have a blender
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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