We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
