Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
