I puked a lego.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just high enough for therapy.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
