Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
