I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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