Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
