Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
