Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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