are you so shy because you have an std?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
