White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
