Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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