4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
