I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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