you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
