Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we're so committed to being not committed
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
