is this the sara with the beer cane?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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