That's intense
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
