is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
