you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
