Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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