i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
