Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
