playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
