its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And then my night got REAL pukey
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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