No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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