Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
