and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
