Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
