Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
