what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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