easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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