So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
